English Teacher

What a sweet grandson...

A Message From Chris Brown

Nice blouse, Chris.


"Please let me be your roll model again, so i can get off this R&B blacklist and go back to making lots of money."

sweep the leg, daniel son

I bet this is from one of those cool Vegas pool parties i keep hearing about...

Perfect-O-Date

With Perfect-O-Date your dating troubles are over,
and so is your life...

What's that taste in my mouth?

These adds leave a funny taste in MY mouth

Put a ring on this

See how this clown mask helps me dance like Beyonce...

Persian Dating Ritual

Somebody call this dude back already, damn...

Dumptrucks can be Dangerous

This really is a good ole truck...

Gymnastics Stunt

OK, i know we haven't really practiced this enough, as is evident by the way i'm barely holding this guy up, but let's just use it in the competition anyway...

Sidewalks can be Slippery

I sure hope this puddle isn't too deep...

Car add on Craigslist

Ford Focus - good reliable first car - $4000 (King)
Reply to: sale-ftezk-1260314046@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-07-08, 7:33PM

Looking for a first car for a teen? This car is absolutely brilliant. It's got low mileage (68k), has been super reliable, and is excellent on gas. Since you're likely paying for the gas, this will make things much cheaper on you. I average like 37MPG to a tank. And with such low mileage, it'll work great for a long long time.

But you wanna know the best reason to buy this car for your kid?

It's slow as shit. You don't have to worry about speeding tickets or accidents in this baby. Your kid could have a 1 mile run and hit a brick wall not wearing a seatbelt and not be going fast enough to do shit. And there won't be any sense in him getting some shitty ass fart can off of eBay - this car has the super slow SPI engine, no sense in trying to make it any faster. It's a 4-door, so your kid won't try to put gay ass Lambo doors on it. It is still possible to fit this with a body kit, but if you'd like, for an extra $200, I can stab him in the face if he does this.

It's a 5-speed, so your kid can't talk on his cell phone while playing Gameboy and smoking pot - he'll have to actually pay attention. It also means you won't have to pay for an automatic transmission when your kid beats the hell out of it. It's got a new clutch and new tires, so you'll know if he does burnouts. After all, I'm sure YOU'RE the one paying for tires, right? It's got an aftermarket head unit in it, so your kid won't fuck it up when him and his buddies try to wire in a "phat ass system". It's already had the speakers replaced too, so he won't have to tear the door cards off and then look like a retard when he can't get them back on. It's got manual windows too, so he can't fuck up the window motors when he rolls one of his friends heads up in it as a joke. A new battery means when he leaves his headlights on, it won't leave you totally stranded.

But really though, one of the best parts is that, because it is a 4 door, it will be somewhat embarrassing for him to be seen in. I'm sure you get pissed at him from time to time. Hell, you're probably mad at him for harassing you into buying him a car in the first place. So get this one. It has no A/C, so you'll know he's suffering every time you get mad at him. Pretty satisfying. It'll bring a smile to your face too, to know he's rolling around looking like a faggot in a Ford Focus.

So buy this car for your kid. You won't regret it.

* Location: King
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Oops, I missed my flight

I hate it when I miss a flight too, but for fuck sake, pull yourself together...